By on .

Today we’re excited to announce a truly amazing advance in state-of-the-art weather forecasting. It is the culmination of countless hours of work by a team of engineers[1], and we are now finally ready to unveil it to the world:

The Revolutionary Dark Sky Graphical Ideogram Map

(Full screen version)

This new map joins a cadre of other beautiful Dark Sky Maps, but is far more advanced, useful, and—frankly—stunning. It uses carefully selected graphical ideograms (“emoji”) to convey complex weather phenomena in an easy-to-understand visual language.

Designed from the ground-up as a valuable tool for professional meteorologists, the Revolutionary Dark Sky Graphical Ideogram Map should prove to be extremely useful for the layperson as well.

And since our map utilizes sophisticated machine learning, and Big Data technology, you can rest assured that it will be 100% accurate.[2]

Why an Emoji Map? 🤔

Two reasons:

  1. First, conventional weather maps tend to focus on just one, or a small number, of the many possible weather conditions. This limits their ability to convey complex information. The Emoji map, by contrast, gives a fully complete and detailed analysis of everything happening on both a global and local scale. It is also the first weather map to utilize an anthropomorphic representation of human feces (and boy have we patented it!).
  2. Second, we live in an increasingly interconnected world filled with diverse peoples and cultures. A map is only useful as far as it can effectively communicate its intent across languages, national borders, and social norms. Emojis, meanwhile, have found a place as the one true lingua franca of the modern world. It is estimated[3] that emojis are used by 90% of the world population on any given day, and will account for the majority of human-to-human communication by the year 2020.

And so, by creating this new map, we’re not just providing exceptionally powerful weather data hithertofore unimaginable to the meteorology community; we’re also providing the first truly universal weather map to all peoples of the world, thus bringing us that much closer together as a global community.

On a more personal note, it’s easy to look at the state of the world today and be drawn into a sort of hopeless pessimism. It seems that there is an ever-present undercurrent of divisiveness, strife, and bitter polarization. We see it in the endless conflict in the Middle East, the increased xenophobic nationalism overtaking Europe, and indeed even here in the United States as well: we are bitterly divided like no other time in our history.

How do we bridge the deep chasm before us? How do we come together in mutual understanding? How do we learn to see eye-to-eye? Can an emoji weather map solve our national and global communication issues and make Planet Earth a better place in which to live?

We believe it can.

You’re welcome, World.

— The Dark Sky Team

  1. By “team of engineers”, I mean “our intern Alex”. 
  2. Or your money back. 
  3. By me, just now.